


Gebler Special Forces

by Bonnie_E



Category: Xenogears
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, F/M, Gen, Suicidal Thoughts, Taking minor characters and giving them way too much back story, lots of death
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-21
Updated: 2016-09-21
Packaged: 2018-08-16 14:05:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8105272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bonnie_E/pseuds/Bonnie_E
Summary: The story of Elly's Strike Team, the Gebler Special Forces, and their trials from the fall of Etrenank to the day Deus finally fell.





	1. Chapter 1

**Part 1: Solaris, Eden of Heaven**   
**Chapter 1**

****

_My head is spinning...or is it the room?_

_No...it's not moving, I'm not moving...it's only the 'Drive'._

_My throat is so dry...I'm so thirsty..._

_I could end all this if I wanted to. Just take more, and I'll be good as new...but...I don't want to._

_But...just a few more minutes in this haze and you'll be yourself again with the Drive._

_Yourself? Who do you think you're kidding? Which one is you, Vance? The one with Drive, or the _one without it? Which one do people know better?__

_The one with. It was the only way to survive. You know that._

_Yeah, but he's a bastard. Which one do you like better?_

_The one without Drive. The one I was born. The one I was before Solaris took it all away._

_Then the only way to find him is not to take the Drive._

_I know...I know...just stop the room from spinning..._

_Why did I take it? Why? I know how it makes me feel. I know how it changes me. I know who I become when I'm on it. I hate him. I hate what it makes me do, makes me think. So why?_

_Oh, yes. A good night's sleep. That's all I wanted, just a good night's sleep. I was weak. I couldn't say no to myself. Am I addicted? Drive's not supposed to be._

_No, not for someone who has nothing to hide from. But... for someone like me who's using it to hide from memories, maybe so. It certainly feels like it. It's certainly a hard habit to break. And I have no support. I have to do this on my own. Gebler wouldn't like the fact I'm not taking the required dosage, anyway. Who knows what they would do to my friends if they found out. I can't let that happen._

Vance rose slowly, swinging his legs over the edge of his bed, staring at the rug for a long time, trying to calm his head. When he felt he could stand without falling over, he did so.

He washed his face with cold water, trying to get the pounding to subside. It helped a little bit, but not as much as he would have liked. Drinking was a little better. The water slid down his throat, past a big lump that had formed in his gullet which made it uncomfortable to swallow. But the liquid helped revitalize him a little bit. At least his mouth wasn't dry anymore.

"Augh...why did I do this to myself again? Why did I take it? Stupid...just stupid... Man, what time is it? Must be early afternoon already..."

He sat before his desk, and pulled out a small notebook from the top drawer. It was his 'thinking' book. He rarely went anywhere without it tucked away in his pack, in case he came up with a revelation or idea. Hiding it from his superiors had been difficult on many occasions. Many of the earlier entries had told him the true effect Drive had on him - particularly one entry, which he had read over and over again. 

_Those kids would have been so easy to kill if only that moron in the black gear hadn't interfered._

Vance shivered at the thought those had been his words. When in his right mind, off the effects of Drive, he would never dream of hurting children willingly. He couldn't help hating himself for it. When he read that, it was added incentive for him to quit using Drive. Whenever he felt like reaching to take more, he tried to get to his desk and read that entry instead.

He read it again, knowing it was already too late to rectify his earlier dose the evening before. But it would help him remember the next time.

"I can do this..." he told himself, dressing in his Gebler uniform. "I have to do this. It's the only way to feel good about myself again. I have to let the nightmares chase me. I have to face them headlong... Huh! Easier said than done."

Even though it was technically his day off, he had been called to a meeting in the gear hangar that afternoon. He supposed his platoon would soon be sent to battle against the Lambs. This would be his second mission without Drive. The first, over the skies of Nortune, had ended in disaster for the Special Forces. After that, they had been removed from the surface base in Bledavik and were sent back to Etrenank, awaiting new orders. This was the first time they had gathered for anything other than training sessions since returning home.

Vance's head still pounded, but he had no choice but to ignore it. He was already late. He left the Drive on his dressing table and left.

"So, you got the call, too?" Renk asked when he arrived at the gear dock in Gebler Headquarters.

"Yeah. So you don't know what this is about?"

"This meeting came from higher up than me. From a Lieutenant Owens. Oddly, though...'Lieutenant' was misspelled."

Vance had noticed that about his own summons, and had thought it odd someone would misspell their own rank. But it was one of 'those' words anyway, and some people in Gebler hadn't been to Jugend or were even highly educated.

_I don't know why this Lieutenant Owens didn't just short form it...ah, well. That's not important._

"Think they're preparing for war on the surface?" Stratski asked, mirroring what Vance had already been wondering. 

Vance shook his head. "I dunno."

"Well, we've gotta do something soon. The people of Etrenank are getting antsy," Helmholz chimed in.

"Good. I've been getting really bored with nothing to do," Stratski said.

"Thing I was wondrin' was who that Lieutenant Owens guy is. I've never heard of him," Broyer spoke.

"I heard rumours we're getting a new commanding officer. It's probably him," Helmholz said.

"Yeah, I heard that, too. To replace Lieutenant Elhaym," Stratski said.

"I heard it's one of the Elements," Renk added.

"Commander Ramsus' personal troops?" Stratski questioned. "Aren't they just a bunch of weird chicks in bright clothes? I think I've seen them around the base."

"If they're Elements class, they're talented. Remember, this is Commander Ramsus' Gebler. People get by on their talent now. If they didn't deserve to be there, they wouldn't be there," Helmholz added.

"Yeah, it's not going to kill us," Renk said, stroking his auburn beard curiously. "Sure, Lieutenant Elhaym was a silly woman, but I tell you - if she can work a gear as good as that, she's okay in my book. I'm willing to bet that this new officer's gonna be something special, too."

"The Lieutenant let us down. I still think we shoulda reported what really happened," Broyer quipped.

"Hey, come on," Renk chimed in. "You want her to be killed? 'Sides, we got no real proof she went off with that guy."

"She must really have it bad," Stratski said.

"Oh, and like you've never had it bad," Helmholz added.

"Hey, that's not fair! Using the past against me. Don't tell these jerks about that."

"Like it's ever lasted more than a week," Helm responded.

"Hey, you two. Cut it out. I think she's coming."

The five men lined up neatly in formation as the door slid open and the woman stepped in.

The demi-human stood before them all, allowing the group to sum her up quickly. She was of small build for a woman, but her hair alone added two or three inches to her height. The hair was pink and seemed to have a life of its own. She had a pair of floppy bunny ears which practically fell in her face. She was dressed in a red and pink battle dress.

"Hi, all!" she spoke, her voice chipper. "Are you guys the Gebler Special Forces Platoon B?"

"We are," Renk spoke.

"Oh, good. I'm your new officer, Seraphita. I don't really have a title, but... I kinda like Lieutenant. So I guess you can call me Lieutenant Seraphita or Lieutenant Owens or whatever you want to. Anyway, what're your names? I'm so excited, because I love meeting new people!"

Stratski shot Helmholz a glance that Vance caught out of the corner of his eye. It was clear they had both decided not to take the cherub-like woman seriously. Not that Vance could blame them.

"You!" she said, pointing right at Helm. "What's so funny?"

"Um...er...nothing."

"Oh! Good, then. I kinda thought you were laughing at me or something. What's your name?"

"Corporal Helmholz."

"Is that your first name or your last name?" she asked.

"Well...my last name."

"What's your first name?"

"Um...it's Victor..."

"It's nice to meet you, Victor!" She walked over and shook his hand enthusiastically. Helmholz looked at Stratski with a look that said, _Yup...we're dead meat._

Nobody, save Stratski, ever called Helmholz by his first name. Not even Renk. Vance wasn't quite sure why that was. It was an unwritten rule within the platoon. But Lieutenant Owens seemed to be the oblivious type.

"What about you?" she said, turning to Helmholz's friend.

"Um...Corporal Stratski. Knute Stratski."

"Great! Now isn't this fun! What about you?" she asked Renk.

"Platoon Sergeant - Renk Elcide."

"Good, good. What about you?"

"Corporal Vance Nye," he sighed.

"You're kinda young. How old are you?"

"Seventeen."

"Oh, you must be an ace at gear combat to be here so young!"

"Yeah, well...I am."

"I'm young, too. I'm good at gear combat too, even though a lot of people tell me I don't look like the type. I guess you and me have something in common, then."

"Yeah, well..."

Vance quickly wondered if the woman had the same problem with being taken seriously that he'd had when he had first been promoted. But he quickly pushed it aside to pay attention to what happened next.

Lieutenant Seraphita stepped up to Broyer, a big man who easily dwarfed her and everyone else around him. He looked very nervous.

"What about you?" she asked, then looked up, her green eyes seeming especially interested in him.

"Um...er...um..." Broyer stammered. "It's - uh...F... Fi...Finn...Finn Broyer...um...yeah. Finn Broyer."

"Um..." she spoke.

There was a long pause as the two stared at each other. And stared...and stared...

"Uh, I have a question..." Stratski said, breaking the profound silence.

"What?" she asked, tilting her head, almost as if unwilling to take her eyes off of Broyer.

"Um...are you for real? I mean, Commander Ramsus can't be serious putting you in charge of our platoon, can he?"

Broyer hit Knute on the arm, almost knocking him over. "Shut up, Stratski!"

Seraphita looked genuinely hurt. "You don't think I can do it, do you? You think I'm kinda dumb, right?"

"No! You're not dumb at all!" Broyer spoke.

"Oh...Finn..." she sighed.

"Oh, brother..." Vance spoke, rolling his eyes.

"Yeah, sometimes I'm not too smart...but I'm kinda good at what I do. When Lieutenant Elhaym was pronounced MIA, I was promoted to the Elements, and since I'm the fire element and Elhaym was the fire element before, I take her place here as commanding officer of your platoon. And if you guys don't like it, that's too bad!" she said, looking serious. But then her face became cheery again. "But I'm sure we're gonna end up getting along famously, right? Good!"

Her eyes went back to Finn Broyer.

"Um...it's Seraphita, right?" he asked.

"Yeah...but...my friend Tolone calls me Sera. You can call me Sera if you want to, Finn."

"Uh...okay...Sera, then."

Once again, a mutual admiration stare ensued and Vance sensed the impatience of the others.

"Um...Lieutenant...do you have any orders for us?" Strastski asked.

"Uh...well, no. I just wanted to meet you all so we could start being friends now. If you want to, you can go."

"Good," Stratski said, turning to leave.

Vance watched their new commander and Broyer a couple moments more, staring and mooing at one another, then muttered to himself, "Man...that's sickening. Can I throw up now?"

Renk urged Vance along with a hand on his shoulder. "If she doesn't need us anymore, we might as well get back to our day off. Coming, Vance?"

The young man nodded, and followed the other three men out of the hangar.

"Don't see love at first sight very often," Renk said. "Those two are made for each other."

"Yeah. Combined their IQs probably add up to about the same as an average human," Stratski added. "Could only get better."

"I wouldn't say Broyer was that unintelligent. Sure, he's not the brightest star, but he's not an epsilon," Renk added. He was referring to the ancient class levels that had existed in Solaris before they had been simplified two centuries before. Vance knew about it only on a basic level from bits and pieces he had heard.

"Nah, not an epsilon. He's not that bad. Not sure about her, though. And she's our new commanding officer. What a joke."

"If she's a senior officer, she would have gone to Jugend. Even in Ramsus' Gebler , that's standard. You can't be stupid and get through that place. It's hard."

"I concur with that," Helm said.

"Hmm. True," Stratski said. "I wonder who did her homework for her."

Helm started to laugh, but controlled himself quickly. "Indeed. That makes sense. I admit to doing a couple papers for Knute during our time there..."

"Hey...don't tell them that. I had a hard time with some of the language at first. While you absorbed it like a sponge," Stratski said. "In final year, you have to admit I did every single paper myself. Anyway, we were talking about our new commander. Did she say her name was Owens?"

"I'm pretty sure that's what she said."

"Lieutenant Seraphita Owens," Renk said. "You two are going to have to get better at remembering names if you're going to get through Gebler without pissing anyone off."

"Seraphita, Owens, Lieutenant...whatever. It doesn't change the fact she's dumb as a stick. And Broyer's there all 'tweedle dee I love thee' all of a sudden. I'm with Vance on this. Peee-uke."

"You must've never been in love before," Renk said.

"She'd have to be someone pretty special to catch his interest for more than a week," Helm added.

"Hey, that's not fair, Vic. I'll find her in due time."

"You have. Several times. For a day or two."

"Hey, I told you not to bring that up in front of the others. Those others obviously weren't the one. She's out there, I just haven't met her yet."

Yeah, me neither," Helm continued. "But...she'd have to be calm and smart. You probably just want a girl who will let you get your rocks off."

"Hey, that's not true! I'm looking for a lot more than that."

"Yeah, I guess she'd have to be a member of the Knute Stratski Fan Club and shower you with compliments 24 hours a day."

"Hmm...that wouldn't be so bad..."

"Well, I've found my special girl. Lucky for me," Renk said.

"Yeah, well, that's because you're an old bag, Renk. We'd worry about you if you hadn't."

"Hey, hey..."

"Alright, guys. Enough about this, okay?" Vance said.

"Why not? Aren't you old enough to start looking at girls? You still think they're icky, do you?"

"Hey, give me some credit, okay? Of course I've looked at girls. I just think love is overrated. That's all."

"Yeah, you've never been in love," Renk said.

"I... Never mind," Vance said. "Say, when's Ayra gonna be cooking that special thing with the ariberries and applelily again?"

"I dunno. She's been having a hard time finding the ingredients these days with all that chaos with the gates and stuff. She heard a shipment of supplies from the surface is going to arrive in three days to a week and she hopes she'll be able to get the fruit for it. 'Till then we're all outta luck."

"Anyone going to watch the Emperor on Homevision tonight?" Helmholz asked.

"Ppfh!" Stratski said. "More lip service to the masses. I don't need to watch that garbage to know things are going to be okay."

"Actually, I think there's a real danger," Helm said. "I'm surprised we weren't summoned to go into battle. I'd psyched myself for it and everything."

"Ayra's really worried, too. If the Lambs invade this land, it's gonna be chaos," Renk said. "I just don't want Ayra and Danie to get hurt."

"Yeah, well, you guys can be all paranoid about it, I'm going to bed instead. Tell me if I miss anything interesting."

"I'm going, too. See you guys," Helm said, following Stratski.

Renk saluted and walked on with Vance in silence.

"You're awfully quiet," Renk spoke. "Unusually quiet, kid. Something bugging you?"

"Well...no, I guess..."

Renk looked Vance with a touch of concern evident in his expression.

"Are you on 'Drive'?" he asked.

Vance shook his head.

"Yeah, I thought not. That's what it is, then."

They walked on. Renk spoke again. "It's rare when you're not on it."

"Renk, forget it. It's no big deal."

"Okay, whatever."

They reverted back to silence.

"Say, Renk..." Vance said suddenly.

"Yeah, kid?"

"Um...it's, well..."

"Spit it out."

He wanted to tell him everything - about the nightmares, the entry in his diary, how he'd been taking Drive just to survive, but he couldn't find the words. It wasn't the right time. It would never be the right time.

"Um...ah, never mind. I'm going to go now."

"See you later."

Vance crossed the hall to the apartment across from Renk's, not turning back to look at his superior. He couldn't burden him with all that he was going through, and he had already done enough to Renk and his family due to his habit of using Drive to survive.

For a moment he sat on his bed without even turning on the light. The mental exhaustion hit him, and the silence around him became more profound and harder to deal with. Maybe he just needed noise, people...careless banter to help take his mind of things. So he decided it would be better to take a walk to the centre of town.

Before he knew it, he was in the main shopping area. He didn't even remember getting there - his mind had wandered over so many things. But at the least, they didn't wander to those dark depths, and he didn't desire the Drive or the sleep.

He paused a moment on the bridge over the plaza, and silently stared down to one of the stores below. He hadn't been to the import store in years. Not since his life had been forever changed. 

_I won't go inside. I won't even think about it._

I don't even know if she suffered for what I did, as much as she knew nothing about what I was trying to do. For that reason, I don't even know if she would even remember me. I know all too well how this place works. Solaris doesn't care about people's pain. Especially when you resist their stifling world order. Even the innocent around the guilty are made to suffer.

I'm afraid to go there and see she's not around anymore because of me. Even if she is, then I'm afraid to go in and pretend that I don't even remember her. It would have to be that way - I don't want her any more involved than I've already made her. And I don't know if it would be worse to have her not remember me, or me having to pretend I don't know her. It's better to not find out.

I wish things had been different. I wish I hadn't screwed things up so badly. But I can't change the past. I'm only left to deal with what I've left behind. And so, regardless of what might have been, it can't be. Which is probably better for her in the long run, anyway.

It was just a silly childhood crush, anyway. I probably made more of it than it was. 

Vance turned his back from the square and walked in the other direction. There were other places to walk and ponder. He didn't need to be somewhere where he was forced to think of his life's greatest mistake.

* * *

Renk watched Vance slowly enter his apartment, as if he didn't want to be alone. Renk wished he knew what to say, but he admitted he didn't know how to deal with Vance's pain, especially when he didn't confide in him.

There had been a time when Renk and his family had welcomed Vance into their home at any time. But things had happened, and Vance said he no longer felt comfortable around Renk's wife and young daughter. It was the Drive, of course. What the Drive made Vance into. He had never said it aloud, but Renk knew what that drug did to good minds. The young man was scared of what he might do or say. So he had pushed himself away and never visited the Elcides anymore, despite living right across from them.

Ever since he had met Vance, Renk had noticed two completely different sides to the young man. The Vance on Drive was a narcissistic jerk, while the one off Drive was much more quiet, a little quirky, less into himself. There was something sad about that Vance, though, like he had some sort of burden resting on his soul. It had only become worse since they had returned to Etrenank from the surface. But Renk admitted seeing the true Vance far more often lately. Maybe he had given up Drive. Renk could only hope so. He had never seen anyone successfully do it before, especially when it was so readily available as standard rations.

Renk decided to push away his thoughts, and entered his own apartment.

He was attacked by a young girl with a book in her hand.

"Daddy, daddy! Look what I got!"

He knelt down to meet her at eye level. He took the book from the girl and looked at it.

"Welll...what is this, now?"

"There was this guy giving it out at school. It's all about purging the Lambs and stuff...it's about these evil Lambs who tried to invade Solaris and how the army beat them all up and kicked them out."

"I see...sounds like a good book."

"She's been reading it ever since she got home from school," came a calm, feminine voice. Renk's wife stood in the doorway to the kitchen, wiping her hands on a dishtowel.

"Hey, Ayra. I'm back."

"I can see that." The woman approached him and pecked him on the cheek. "I'm glad you're back."

"Can you make out all the words?" he asked the young girl.

"Most of 'em! But...I waited for you to come home so we could read the ending together."

He stroked his beard. "Well, then...let me eat some dinner, and I can read you the ending, how about that?"

"Yeah!"

"But you're gonna have to fill me in on exactly what happened before."

"I will! I will!"

"Danie, it's time for your shower."

"Aw, mommy..."

"No arguing. Go..." the woman said, pushing her daughter along.

"Okay...I'll go," Danie said, slumping her shoulders.

"Honestly, what is it with children and showers?" she said, placing her hands on her hips and shaking her head.

"I dunno."

"I thought you had an urgent meeting."

"Well, it turned out it wasn't quite so urgent. We got a new Lieutenant. Some pink-haired ditz from the Elements class. She just wanted to meet us and become friends. How she ever got through Jugend is beyond me."

"More than likely she's smarter than she appears."

"Yeah, you're probably right. Most of the time the Commander knows what he's doing, and she wouldn't have gotten so far without having some kind of talent. Ain't her brains, though. But Finn and she seemed to hit it off pretty well. Wouldn't be surprised to see them spending quite a lot of time together in the near future."

"Hopefully the distant future, too. I can't wait to meet her."

"Well, Finn's kinda thick sometimes, but to see him find someone who can barely match wits with him is great, I guess. So, what's for dinner?"

"Well, it's not grang steaks if that's what you're hoping for. That shipment still hasn't come in yet, so I had to make meatloaf."

"Hey, meatloaf's fine, you know that. You're the only person I know who can make it edible, Ayra."

"Wish I could like it as much. Whatever this weird meat is, it just doesn't quite cut it, you know? I wonder sometimes what kind of beasts they make it from."

"If they don't tell you, you probably don't wanna know."

"Oooh...that's a rather disgusting thought."

"I know, isn't it? Anyway, bring it on."

She scooped it onto the plate, along with some strange vegetables.

"You know, when you were in Bledavik, Danie was asking about what the surface is like."

"Really?"

"She wants to know how many Lambs you purged when you were down there."

Renk cleared his throat. "Kids sure grow up fast these days, don't they?"

Ayra nodded. "I tried to tell her that you weren't put on the surface to do that, but she wouldn't believe it. Could you explain to her that Gebler does other things besides purging the Lambs? She doesn't listen to me, and you're her hero."

"I'll talk to her, yeah."

"Good. Now eat your meatloaf."

He nodded.

"I'm just glad you didn't come home on Drive. That stuff changes you, Renk. I don't really like it."

"Yeah, I know. But Gebler says it makes us fight better, and if we work hard, we get promoted, right?"

She nodded, seeming only slightly convinced. She changed the subject. "The Dedication starts at seven o'clock. I hope it's good news."

"I hope so, too - just so things will calm down a little bit here. Everyone's so tense about this gate thing and Lambs getting in here and stuff. Danie doesn't know about it, does she?"

"Not that I'm aware of. Unless she learned it in school."

"Hmm...well, she doesn't seem scared."

"Well, you know her. If there is something wrong, she's more likely to confide in you than me."

"I'm dreading when those women-type problems come up and I can't answer 'em."

"Don't worry. Just forward them to me."

"I don't think I'll have much choice. I don't really know how to answer 'em."

"It won't make much difference anyway. She'll always be your little girl, right, Renk?"

"Of course! Even when she's forty, she'll always be a child in my head. But let me just enjoy her childhood while she's got it for now."

Ayra laughed. "Yeah. Sure."

* * *

Ever since Knute Stratski had known Victor Helmholz, they had been friends. From their first day together at Jugend, the two had hit it off and were practically inseparable. Knute wondered sometimes exactly what they saw in each other as friends, but he didn't question it. They were polar opposites in many ways - Victor was tall and lanky, serious, knew an unhealthy amount about gears, thought way too much about everything. Knute was, well...none of the above. Well, perhaps he over-thought things sometimes as well, but only when he was given way too much time to think of them. He was certainly the more impulsive of the two.

There were things about Victor that he hid from most people. Knute could see right through them. Everyone described Helm as cold and quiet, while Knute knew there was far more to him than that. Those things were like an unspoken secret between them, and in return for his silence about it, Victor helped calm Knute down when he got a silly notion in his head and treated him like a younger brother. He kept him from recklessly getting wrapped up in harmful endeavours. Unless of course, Knute really wanted to do it. He could then easily sway Victor over to his side.

Recently, the two had discovered that they had been friends even longer than they had been led to believe. It had been far, far longer, though neither of them clearly remembered exactly when they had truly met the first time.

Even though they didn't share an apartment, one always seemed to be at the other's place. That night, they had chosen Helmholz's apartment to hang out in because Stratski admitted his wasn't fit for guests that evening. Knute knew that Victor had no illusions about his lack of organizational skills and loathing of housework, and Victor's apartment was always orderly, so it was the better choice.

"You're going to force me to sit through this tripe, aren't you?" Stratski said, sinking into the couch beside his friend, who played with the Homevision tuner.

Victor motioned to his left. "There's the door."

Knute pouted. "You suck, Vic. You know that?"

"Just because you're not concerned about Lambs getting in here doesn't mean nobody else is, Knute."

Stratski shrugged. "It might help us see a little action soon. I'm getting bored, lying around, waiting for us to be given something to do."

Victor sighed. "Yeah, that's just like you."

"Look, I just don't see how the Emperor getting up and making a speech is going to help. Besides, it's sort of stupid to worry about Lambs attacking when we're nothing more than Lambs ourselves, Vic."

"Knowing that makes me more concerned."

"Why's that? Oh, yeah. You're just being your normal, cautious self."

"No, seriously. Look... you and I - probably the others, too - we're Lambs, right? Give us a fancy gear and we're elite soldiers. Which tells me that there really isn't much difference between Solarians and Lambs. The only thing separating us is technology, and if the surface dwellers somehow got a hold of it, there's just no way we could beat them. There are far more of them than there are of us. Why do you think Solaris is so protective about their secrets?"

"Huh. I still think you're worrying about nothing. After all, how would the Lambs ever get a hold of Solaris technology?"

"Remember that gear that Lieutenant Elhaym wasn't able to get back? The one that guy friend of hers is riding now? THAT'S how. You know how badly Gebler whined about losing that thing. And its stats are classified, which means they're probably pretty amazing. Actually, not being able to know them kind of burns my ass a bit..."

"Oh, and one gear's going to bring down Solaris? Don't make me laugh, Vic. Even with amazing stats, that's impossible."

"I didn't mean just one gear. I mean...little by little. They'll slowly get it. And then they'll start making it themselves."

"Not in our lifetimes, Vic. By then, I'll hardly give a shit."

"There are some really talented people on the surface who love to tinker with this crap. If they learned how to make it rather than modify it, then...well...I think it will be within our lifetimes."

"From what little I remember, the surface just seems to be full of a bunch of hacks."

"That's because you don't remember..."

Knute eyed his friend. "Remember what?"

"Never mind. It will come to you when it's meant to."

Knute crossed his arms over his chest. "You suck, Vic!"

"I just think that the memories will come back to us when our mind is ready to remember them. I don't think your mind is ready for that chunk yet."

"Well, when I do start to remember it, help me fill in some of the blanks. Because right now, all I remember is my mom and dad, your dad, their blowhard friends and bits and pieces of our time at Miller Gordon's School for Boys."

"Like the time you put the underwear up the flagpole."

"Hey, I might have been the one who shimmied up there, but I wasn't the mastermind of that plan. Even I remember that much."

"And when you switched the male and female anatomy charts in science class."

"You're the one who came up with that plan too...if my memory isn't failing me."

Victor laughed. "I guess I'm not as quiet and innocent as I appear?"

"I have no illusions about that. I never have. You're the one who loves practical jokes. That hasn't changed, regardless of us losing our memories. I'm surprised nobody's beaten the living shit of out you for some of them."

Victor sighed and sat back. "You know...I've been thinking..."

Knute knew his friend's expression. Hesitant. Wondering if he was going to stir something by expressing himself.

"Go on, Vic. I'm curious. It's just between you and me."

"I've been thinking lately... what it would be like to go back and live on the surface."

"They'll probably station us there again soon."

"No, Knute. I mean permanently."

Knute cast his friend a doubting glance. "You've got to be kidding me. You'd leave Solaris and all we have here? For what?"

"I don't know. But now that I remember some things, I feel like I somehow have to go back. Solaris isn't my home."

"Nortune was hardly your home either, you know."

"Yeah, but... think about the circumstances of us getting here. What sort of a place would kidnap people, wipe their memories, then lie to them about it all? Not to mention...the circumstances and timing of our kidnapping was rather convenient, which means it was probably strategic on Solaris' part."

"Strategic? I don't get what you mean..."

"Never mind. It's from that chunk you can't remember."

It really bothered Knute that Victor wouldn't share that memory with him, but he decided to forget it for the time being.

"Regardless, you can't be serious about deserting."

"I'm not sure. But...it has most certainly crossed my mind more than once."

Knute cast Victor a confused glance for a second. He then threw up his hands. "This is stupid, Vic."

"No stupider than the time some kid said to me, 'Hey, Victor, let's run away from home and get away from this life. C'mon c'mon c'mon let's DOOOOO it!'"

Knute pouted again. He remembered telling his friend that in a much younger, more naïve time, even if his memory of when and why was a bit foggy. Why did he have to shove it in his face now?

"Have I ever told you that you suck?"

"All the time," Victor said with a smile. "But unlike when you coerced me into leaving home, this isn't something I'm jumping into blind. I've thought it over long and hard."

"Yeah, I know you probably have. But the main difference between then and now is that abandoning Solaris will get us killed. At least running away from home just pit us against the wrath of our parents. Not fun, but not deadly. Besides, I like what we have here. Being an elite soldier has its perks. And we get to ride some of the best gears in the country. In the world! Do you think we'll be able to ride ones that nice on the surface? That's assuming we can ride them at all! Besides, what did we lose out on, really? Soldiers in the Kislev army, soldiers in Gebler...it's all the same, really."

Victor looked at his friend. "I keep forgetting you have no recollection of what we lost. You're just going to have to trust me on these things."

"Well, it's hard to trust when it's like walking in the damn dark."

Victor sighed. "Yeah, I suppose you're right. I should forget these things. Never mind. Forget I even mentioned it. Let's just watch the Dedication."

Knute was annoyed that he had been cut off mid-argument, but he wasn't in the mood to fight about it, anyway. So it was probably for the best. 

_I know you're still thinking about it. I know that now that it's in your head, you're just going to continue to ponder on it until you finally build up the courage to leap. Just like that time when we were kids. It wasn't an impulse. I remember that much. Maybe when my brain stops being full of holes, I'll understand what you're saying, Vic. I want to understand. I really do. For you to feel this passionately about anything means it was probably something pretty huge._

"Promise me one thing, Vic," Knute said.

"What?"

"If you do...you know... Take me with you, okay?" 

Victor smiled. "I wouldn't have it any other way."


	2. Chapter 2

**Part 1: Solaris, Eden of Heaven  
Chapter 2**

Renk sat with his daughter as she laid under her covers. He had promised to read the ending of the book with her, and he tried to always keep his word.

"And then Mr. Lamb said, 'You stupid Solarians! I'm gonna to kill you all!'

The Great Gebler said, 'No way, you barbarian! We have superior weapons and superior intelligence. There's no way you could even come close to defeating us!'

Great Gebler and his men charged Mr. Lamb and his men. They fought for a long time, but very quickly Great Gebler got the upper hand because he had superior intelligence and superior weapons. The Lambs were all lying down in terrible pain. The Great Gebler's men rounded up the Lambs and sent them to jail in the Soylent forever. Great Gebler, having reigned victorious against the savage Lambs, lived happily ever after. THE END."

Danie smiled. "Wow! That was a good story. Great Gebler really beat those bad Lambs up, didn't he?"

"Yeah. He got 'em good."

"Just like you, daddy, right?"

Renk sighed. "Yeah, just like me."

"When you were on the surface, were you scared of the Lambs?"

"No. They weren't that scary."

"That's because you had good weapons and were smarter, right?"

"Well...I guess so."

"How many Lambs did you purge on the surface?"

"Purge...do you even know what that means?"

"Well...I guess it sort of means something like killing, right?"

"That's exactly what it means when it's used like that."

"And Solaris people purge Lambs, right?"

"Well, sometimes we do."

"Especially people in Gebler, like you, right?"

"Well, sometimes, yes."

"So how many did you purge in Bledavik?"

"I wasn't sent to the surface to purge the Lambs, Danie. I was sent down to support the Aveh army in their war with Kislev."

"So the Lambs were like your friends?"

"Well, sort of. We were a separate force from the surface's troops, but we did provide support in battles they couldn't handle on their own."

"So instead of purging all Lambs, you only purged ones from Kislev, right?"

Renk thought about it. "I suppose so. If you put it that way. But we weren't put down there to purge Lambs. Not directly. If they wanted us to, there were specific orders to do so, but that wasn't our primary purpose of being there."

"Oh."

"Gebler does more than just purge Lambs. We keep balance in the war on the surface, too. And other things. Like protecting Etrenank."

"Oh."

The girl was deep in thought.

"I once asked a question in school, and I got in a lot of trouble for it. But...I really wanna know something. If it makes me bad, I don't mean to be, but...can I ask you?"

"Well, sure. If it's leaving a buzz in your head, why not?"

"Why do we purge Lambs?"

Renk sat there. Such an insightful question for such a young girl. He had thought about it briefly himself, but then it was overcome with the 'work hard, get promoted' slogan Solaris had drilled into him long ago.

"Well...that's sort of a hard question to answer. I don't thing there's a simple answer to it."

"Am I bad, daddy?"

"Well...no, I don't think so. It's just something we really shouldn't think about."

"But why not?"

"Well...I suppose you know it already. Asking that question can get you in a lot of trouble. So don't ask anyone else, okay?"

"Well...okay, daddy. If you say so."

Renk tucked her in carefully, just the way she liked it. He couldn't help noticing she was ready to ask another question.

"What is it, princess?" he asked.

"Could the story in my book come true, daddy? Could Lambs really come to Solaris?"

Renk paused carefully. "Well...I don't know for sure. We're all sort of hoping they won't."

"I heard about the gates breaking from a kid at school, and that the Emperor was going to go on Homevision tonight to talk about it."

"Are you scared?"

"No. Because I know if they come that you'll get them, won't you, daddy?"

"Well, I..."

"Promise me. You've gotta promise me you'll kill the Lambs if they try to hurt me."

"Well...Okay. I promise I'll always protect you."

She smiled brightly. "I love you, daddy."

"I love you too, princess." He kissed her on the forehead. "Now go to bed."

She nodded, closing her eyes. "Good night, daddy."

"Good night."

Back in the living area, where he and Ayra slept, his wife sat before the Homevision.

"What's going on?"

"The Emperor is entering the plaza. He hasn't said anything yet."

Renk sat next to his wife on the couch, and turned towards the screen.

From his opalescent throne, Solaris' Emperor Cain spoke, "My beloved children, you can be at ease. The Gazel Ministry and I planned the destruction of the gate long ago. The people chosen by god...we, the Gazel, will return to God's paradise. To the sleeping mother god...The time for our immortality has come. We have opened the door to 'Mahanon'...the place where god rests, the source of wisdom and power. The surface dwellers will no doubt use this opportunity to seize its power. However, there is no need to be concerned...as long as Solaris has this power. Let's show stupid beasts, the Lambs, our real power."

Fireworks erupted in the sky above the Emperor as another platform beside Emperor Cain rose. A golden-haired man stood on it.

"Wow! Krelian! Haven't seen his face in years," Renk said.

"Not since the Great Plague in the Worker Bee camps," Ayra spoke. "Must be pretty dire if he's showing his face in public."

"Children of the Emperor, please open your heart," Krelian spoke. "The gate we control was removed by will of the Emperor. However, there are foolish beasts here defiling our holy land with their feet. These beasts destroyed the gate and want to remove the Emperor from the throne in the confusion. This is a grave matter. The Emperor's throne has been polluted. We cannot rest yet. Those imbeciles have been caught and shackled like the dogs they are!"

Ayra looked at Renk with fear. "What - what do they mean? The Lambs are already here?"

More platforms rose and from each one, a hologram was projected - those of five Lambs, all sentient but not all human, chained down and helpless.

"Oh...my god!" Ayra spoke. "Is that them? Is that what they look like?"

Renk nodded and placed his arm around her, knowing she had never seen them before and was probably nervous.

"They're scary! What is that big one there? He's immense!"

"A demi-human, no doubt. He is kinda scary-looking, yeah," Renk said.

Ayra looked at them all quizzically.

"Still, though, I never imagined they'd look so much like us..."

"That kid there...look at his colouring...could he have been born here?" Renk questioned. "He's in an Ethos uniform, too."

"Well, if Krelian says he's a Lamb, he's a Lamb..."

Krelian went on. "To revive our progenitors, the Gazel of old, the day after tomorrow, these land dwellers will be disposed of in the Soylent System. We assure you - Etrenank and Solaris are safe. But it will require your constant effort. Please report all suspicious activity directly to your superiors. We must all work together to save ourselves from destruction and bring about this time of pure glory for the entire Solaris nation."

Cain spoke again. "That is all. Stay well and work hard, everyone."

The Dedication ended in another shower of fireworks.

Ayra squeezed his hand nervously. "I can't believe they broke through... under our noses and we didn't even know... maybe... maybe there's more of them...?"

"Don't worry. If there are, they'll be flushed out. Krelian and the Emperor said things are under control. So they're under control."

"I - suppose..."

"Hmmm..." Renk said, standing up.

Ayra also rose. "I wonder what the Emperor meant about returning to immortality... to the sleeping mother god? I don't get what they mean. It was lot of big words I don't really understand..."

"Don't worry about that. It's probably all good."

"I just wonder what that means for us?"

"Probably just that things are going to get better instead of worse around here."

"Yeah, probably. But...I hope they're right."

"We have to believe they're right."

"Mmm..." Ayra spoke, pushing a button. The couch they had been sitting on turned into a bed.

She eyed Renk with a hopeful gaze. "Do you think we can ever be promoted to first class?"

"Well...if we both work hard and do our duty, then I don't see why not."

She smiled warmly. "Good. I'd love to have a garden of my own some day. I'd grow all my favourite flowers, just like the ones in Arbot Plaza. I'd love to fill my house with flowers some day."

"You'll get that. I promise you. I'll work hard to give you all those things."

"I'll work hard, too."

"We both will. Now don't worry about the Lambs. You heard the Emperor. They planned for it to happen this way. Those Lambs are going to the Soylent facility. They have it under control."

"I know...but I'm still concerned."

Renk held her. "That's just you bein' you. You never let your guard down for anything. Listen, let me promise you something."

"What?"

"If the Lambs overcome this land, I'll protect you and Danie with my life. You two are the most important things in the world to me, and I'd never let anything bad happen to you."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

"Okay. I'll accept that."

"Great. Now I should get some sleep. I have a shitload of paperwork to finish tomorrow at the base. Not looking forward to it, but it's gotta be done before the training session tomorrow."

Ayra nodded. "I guess I should get some sleep, too. They think there's going to be a huge mess to clean up after the crowds who went to the Dedication. Nobody had better have stomped all over the flowers. Arlen will be mad if so and when he's mad, he likes to take it out on the people around him. I'll need all my patience to deal with that. I swear, if he's ever promoted, I bet he'll refuse it just because he doesn't want to abandon his babies. Those flowers are his life. I mean, I love them too...but he just goes way over the top."

"Well, here's hopin' it's all in good order, then. Unfortunately, I know people, and I'm willing to bet there's been at least a little bit of flower stompin'."

Ayra rolled her eyes. "Oh, I know. I just hope it's not the orchids."

Renk pecked her on the cheek. "Good night, dove."

She turned out the light, and Renk sat sitting in the darkness. Strange thoughts went through his mind - mainly Danie's question, "Why do we purge Lambs?"

Lieutenant Elhaym had asked them before their last mission on the surface, regarding the Lambs, "They're human...the same as us, right?" He had thought those kinds of feelings were unusual, especially since she was a Gazel. But he admitted to feeling the same way about their mission in Nortune, he just didn't have the background or rank to say so aloud.

He had no recollection of his life much before being sent to Jugend, so there was a good chance he had been born on the surface. Whatever his old life had been, he certainly couldn't recall it to miss it. Ayra had been born to two generations of third class worker bees, so didn't know the surface, and only had Solaris' visions of the surface and surface-dwellers, and Danie would probably be the same way. But he had just spent three months on the surface and had seen how things were there.

I suppose not all of the Lambs deserve to be purged...there were some good people in Bledavik. Hmm...not to say some of 'em shouldn't be. That idiot in the black gear that Elhaym ran off with...yeah, I'd really love to get him...

He looked over at his wife, her face peaceful as she slept, her slow, even breathing filling his ears with its familiar song.

_Ayra...you're not the only one who's worried. I wonder... does Emperor Cain have this as under control as he says? What's he hiding from us? Something big's gonna happen. I can't help getting this feeling in my gut..._

* * *

Two days passed uneventfully in Etrenank, with the people happier in the news that they were safe from the Lambs. The Gebler Special Forces even began to believe it would be awhile before they would be called back into active duty. Gebler had been pretty much calm, with no activity within Solaris, or on the surface. Since pulling out of Bledavik, life had been more than dull.

Except for Finn Broyer. He had something other than Gebler or Solaris' well-being on his mind. Instead, he had Seraphita on it at every moment.

It was their third date in two days, the second broken up only by their required almost daily training sessions. Starry-eyed and light-footed, their relationship only grew stronger as they spent time together, talking and getting to know one another.

After spending a day together Etranstrolling hand-in-hand, Sera invited Finn back to her apartment to watch a movie and eat some popcorn. He anxiously accepted her request, because he had never been to the first class levels of Etrenank before, and was anxious to see them. He also wanted to see Sera's apartment. He had heard the apartments in that block of the city were much larger than anything he would have imagined.

"This is it!" she spoke excitedly, pushing in the code to open the door.

"This hallway alone is huge!" Finn spoke. He had also been impressed by the outside of the low-rise apartment. This was the form of housing for the 1st class non-Gazel, the highest rank any former worker bee could ever hope to achieve, and the one they all aspired to. Just seeing the size of the place gave Finn added incentive to work hard and get himself promoted.

"Wait until you see the inside! I've got five rooms!"

"Five rooms? Wow, that's big!"

"Yeah! I've got a living room and a dining room and a kitchen and a bedroom and a bathroom. And my bedroom's big! The shower's even got a little wall around it!"

"That's amazing. I can't wait to see it."

"It's so much bigger than the worker bee camps! They've only got one room there."

"I know. It stinks, too."

"Yeah. Well, here it is."

Sera showed it off with a flourish of her hands.

Yes, it was definitely bigger. Very much bigger, but...

It was a pigsty! The very sight of it made Finn's hair stand on end.

The one thing he couldn't stand was a messy living space. His own apartment was immaculate and squeaky clean. The guys often teased him about it, but it was just his way. The slightest bit of disarray would set off his balance.

"What do you think? Isn't it great?"

"Oh...yeah, it's wonderful!" he said, stepping in.

She kicked off her shoes and said, "Want me to give you a tour?"

"Well...I guess so, but..."

"Great! Follow me!"

Finn felt that closed-in feeling he always felt where there was too much clutter around him.

"Uh...just give me a second to take off my boots."

"Oh! Okay!"

He took his own boots off and neatly put them by the door. Then he picked up hers and placed them neatly on the mat. He also straightened the other pairs of shoes.

"Well, that's that. Let's start the tour! This is the living room," she announced.

He saw a stack of comics had fallen over in her bookcase. He neatened them quickly, and began to rearrange them in alphabetical order when she skirted him off to the next room.

"This is my dining room, only I don't really do a lot of eating here unless I get take-out because I really can't cook very good."

A chair in her dining room was piled high with papers and a sweater hung over the back. He picked up the pile of papers and put them in the recycler for pick-up. He took the sweater from the back of the chair and looked for a coat rack or something.

She pushed him into another room.

"This is my kitchen. I don't use it much, either. But I did try to make Tolone a birthday cake in here once. It was a disaster. It was as hard as a rock. Tolone ate it, though. Dominia didn't. I guess it didn't taste too bad, but..."

Finn tuned out her story, quickly observing the dirty dishes in the sink. For someone who claimed not to use the room much, it certainly looked otherwise. He took a pot which sat on the stove and put it in the sink. He then began to pile dishes on the counter to wash them.

"Finny, are you listening to me?" she asked.

"Oh! Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Of course I am."

"Oh, good! I'll show you my bedroom now!"

She dragged him across the living area to an adjacent hallway.

"This is the bedroom, and this is the shower! Check it out! I've got a neat wall here to cover me up when I'm having a shower!"

"Yeah! That's really neat!" he said, looking around desperately for a cleaner that would help clear the mildew from her shower glass. Before he could find anything even vaguely resembling that, she dragged him to the bathroom.

"This is the bathroom," she giggled. "Of course, you know what I do here."

"Uh...yeah..." he said, picking up a soggy towel from the rack and running it over her sink. When the pink hairs halfway down the drain would not untangle from some unseen force, he looked in the cabinet for drain cleaner.

"Well, that's enough of the tour! Let's just watch the movie! I'll make some popcorn and be right back!"

"Yeah! Great!" Finn said, looking around at what he should do first. He just couldn't leave the place looking like this. He picked up some of the clothes on the couch, observed them to see whether they were clean or dirty, and chose the latter option.

"Do you have a hamper?" he asked.

"Oh, yeah! It's in the bathroom!" she said. "Why?"

"Um...no reason."

She came out of the kitchen a couple minutes later with a bowl of popcorn.

"Finny...?" she asked, watching him as he straightened up her apartment.

"Yeah?"

"What are you doing? Are we going to watch the movie?"

"Well...uh, yeah. I'll be right over."

"Why are you cleaning my apartment?"

"Well...um...I just thought I...I was just trying to help. I guess you've been too busy to clean, right?"

"Clean? Oh, I do that sometimes, but I'm not very good at it. It's kinda obvious, huh?"

"Well...er..."

"Yeah. My friend Tolone says I'm a real slob 'cause I never clean my apartment. It looks like you're good at it, though. You must do it a lot, then. I guess it's kinda rare when the guy's all neat and the woman's a bit messy, right? Usually it's the other way around, right?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"You really don't have to do that."

"Oh...well, yeah. I really do."

She laughed. "Finn, you're so funny!"

He looked at her again. She was just so cute. At first he doubted his feelings for her when he saw the condition of her apartment, but how could he turn down that sweet laugh, and those sparkling eyes?

She sat on the couch, putting the bowl on the table. A little bit of the popcorn fell out of it and all over the floor. He reached for a broom and swept it up.

"Finn? Aren't you gonna come over and have some popcorn?"

He looked around the apartment. It looked presentable, he supposed. He could live with it. And even knowing she was a slob didn't turn him off, which surprised him.

He also plopped down on the couch next to her and she put on the movie. He had seen it before and had not been immensely impressed by it. That made it all the easier for him to be distracted by the occasional bits of disorganization around her apartment, but he tried to ignore them and enjoy himself. As the movie went on, it became easier. Sera's presence took away the feelings of insecurity he had when in messy surroundings.

"That was a good movie! I liked it a lot, what did you think, Finn?"

"It was okay. I liked the company more, though."

"Company? Oh! Oh, Finn, that's so sweet..."

He glanced at his watch.

"Well, it's late. I had a great time."

"Yeah, I had a great time, too. And thanks for cleaning my apartment. It was really sweet of you. You're so nice, Finn."

She kissed him suddenly, and it took him completely by surprise. That sealed it for him. She was the one. The one he had dreamed for all his life. Who cared if she was a slob? He could get over it. Perhaps the guys were right when they said he was a neat freak. Maybe he had to learn to live with things not being one hundred percent straight or clean.

"Let's go out again tomorrow," he said.

"Yeah. I'd love that. What should we do?"

"Maybe we can check out the races."

"The races? That sounds fun!"

"Okay, we'll do that, then. Same time. In front of the import store. Maybe that shipment of ariberries will be in and we can have some for breakfast."

"Mmm! I love them!"

"Well...I'll see you tomorrow, then..."

"Yeah..."

He leaned in and kissed her this time.

She was blushing as he walked away. He couldn't see that he also was.

* * *

Renk met his men at the gear hangar that morning, earlier than normal. Their near-daily training sessions were intended to keep them fresh during their down time. Renk still had paperwork to do back in his office, so he had decided to make it a short one that day, and let his guys take the afternoon off. He had considered the possibility of canceling for the day, but Major Harm Vanderkaum had requested to watch their training.

A long-time military family, the Vanderkaums were famous, or rather, infamous in Gebler. Renk and the Major had been long time rivals since their days together in Jugend and had never gotten along. Harm's father, General Heidrich Vanderkaum, had recently died in a battle in the Aveh desert. The General had been a traditional military man - one who believed that heavy artillery was still better than the swift, heavy-hitting gears. Renk thought Heidrich Vanderkaum had been a fool. Unfortunately, like father like son, down to the same cross-shaped tattoo over most of his face, though the junior Vanderkaum's was red rather than grey. Renk suspected the Major had shot through the ranks not because of his talent, but because of who his father was, despite how much Harm always went on about earning his rank through 'blood and sweat'. That was before Kahran Ramsus' reforms, of course. Since that time, the Major hadn't been promoted in years, save his appointment to Gebler's Gear Division in Etrenank, where he supervised the Elite squads that Renk and his men were part of. Why he had been promoted to head a part of Gebler's gear division when he had such a contempt for gears was beyond Renk. But it wouldn't be the first time Renk disagreed with Gebler's appointment decisions. And since he was just a low-ranking officer himself, he had little sway to change things. Besides, for Vanderkaum, with his seething hatred of gears, that would feel very much like a demotion, especially to be stuck there.

Usually when Harm Vanderkaum decided to come out of his office and pretend he cared about his post it was when they were all about to be re-stationed or it was time for annual review, which had already been done when they had returned from Bledavik. Renk felt uneasy about it. He didn't want to leave Ayra and Danie alone so soon after coming back. But such was the nature of his work, and despite how much he didn't like it, that was what had to be done. Ayra understood, but he always felt badly for leaving his little girl. How much would she grow while he was away this time?

Also waiting next to Major Vanderkaum was a pink-haired woman that Renk was sure was Lieutenant Owens.

"Hi, Renk!" she called over with a smile and waved as if she had known him for years.

Renk nodded, more appropriate for the situation. "Lieutenant."

"Vanderbum and I are just gonna watch and see what you can do, okay? I haven't seen you guys fly yet and I'm kinda curious," she said, having no idea that she had massacred the Major's name. Renk tried his best not to laugh.

"Elcide...just go on like normal. We're just gathering data. And this isn't going to be a long session, is it? I have pressing matters later today."

"This won't take long, Major. Just a few small exercises. I admit to be drowning in paperwork myself that's gotta get done."

"Hmph," the Major said, turning away. "Leave it to a gear pilot to be drowning in all the 'trivial' work. Your paperwork was due two weeks ago. I'm growing tired of excuses."

As much as Renk wanted to smash Harm's face, he quickly composed himself.

"My apologies, Major. I'll have the reports done by tomorrow."

"Don't worry about paper too much!" Lieutenant Owens piped up. "I never get mine done in time, either. Usually Tolone just ends up helping me finish it...oh!"

Broyer ran to the gear hanger and joined his fellow pilots quietly, as if he was trying to hide the fact he had arrived late. He had a goofy grin on his face that had been there since he had met the Lieutenant. It grew larger when he realized she was there.

"Broyer," Renk said. "The meet time was 10. Everyone else is ready to go."

"Uh...I'm sorry, Renk. I guess my watch is a bit slow."

"Finny! Good morning!" Lieutenant Owens spoke, then blushed.

Broyer smiled sheepishly. "Good mornin', Sera..." His face was just as flushed as hers.

"Broyer!" Renk said. "It's training time."

"Oh! Oh, yeah. Sorry, Renk. Uh...I'll see you again later, right?"

"Yeah, of course! But I'm gonna watch you guys train first! I bet you're gonna do really great, Finny!"

"Aw, well...I dunno..."

"Broyer!" Renk said, urging his soldier away.

"Go, okay?" Sera said.

"Uh, yeah. Okay!"

Broyer hopped on the lift that took him to Aegisknight's cockpit.

Renk clenched his fists and took a deep breath as he settled into his own cockpit. He hated it when people were observing he and his men. Even more when it was Vanderkaum. But they had all gotten by before, and he had to trust that they would all do alright. They were all doing very well, with one noted exception. To Renk's dismay, Broyer's flying was exceptionally sloppy the last couple days. Renk sighed, but smiled in spite of himself. It was true Finn had been distracted during their training sessions since meeting the Lieutenant, but Renk remembered how he had been a few days into his own courtship and realized it would probably pass. He would speak to Finn about it after training, and hopefully that would be enough to bring his lovesick soldier back down to reality.

"What the hell was that, Finn?" Stratski spoke, vocalizing what Renk was thinking as Finn attempted to block simulated gunfire. "You're supposed to be covering me!"

"Uh...yeah. Sorry, Stratski."

"Broyer..." Renk said. "Mind on the battlefield. Pretend this is the real thing."

"I know, I know...sorry. I just hate bein' watched."

"We all do," Helmholz spoke coldly.

"This is the same as always, Finn. Just pretend we're out there by ourselves," Renk said.

"I'll try, guys. I'll try. I'm sorry...just give me a sec..."

"Five seconds...then we're going back to the exercise."

Renk sighed. He was slightly torn - he knew he would likely have to talk to Finn sooner than later, and the longer he waited, the worse it would become.

After the session was over, Renk landed first and was called over by Vanderkaum. Lieutenant Owens had run over to Aegisknight, leaving the two alone.

Vanderkaum scowled. "It's clear you and your men have been slacking off."

"I know that was very sloppy on Corporal Broyer's part, Major. My apologies on his behalf. It won't happen again."

"Oh, but it will. Repeatedly. At least until his relationship with Owens is cut off. Which is going to happen before it becomes a bigger problem."

"With all due respect, sir...I agree it gets in the way during training as it stands now, and I plan on talking to him about it and how he needs to be more professional. But I can't possibly expect him to break it off entirely. I haven't seen him this happy in a long time. And I care about the morale of my men."

"It's not that simple, Elcide. It's the law."

"I'm afraid I don't understand, Major."

"The 'Cross-Class Marriage Act'. It forbids relationships between citizens of different classes. You and your men are all second class. Owens is first class. Such a relationship is forbidden under Solaris law."

Renk had vaguely heard about it, so he knew Vanderkaum wasn't lying to him in order to be a bastard. If it was law, then that did make the matter different.

"The normal punishment for it is a drop in class. I doubt someone accustomed to the luxuries of being second class really wants to be demoted back to the Worker Bee camps, do they, Elcide? Of course, there are other, more severe punishments. While uncommon, they're arguably less humane."

The last thing Renk wanted was for Finn to be in trouble, yet a piece of Renk ached at the thought of breaking his subordinate's heart.

"If it's not out-of-bounds, perhaps you should speak to her about it as well? To make sure both parties are on the same page with this."

"I most certainly would if it wouldn't get me a court martial for being insubordinate."

"But...she's a Lieutenant, isn't she?"

"She's no Lieutenant, Elcide. I don't care what she's going around calling herself. Owens is a Brigadier General. Technically. And if she was worth her salt, she'd know the relationship was inappropriate. The 'new way' be damned. Back in my father's day, you had to earn every rank with blood and sweat. Now they're just all willy-nilly and giving high ranks around because someone's 'talented'. Seniority means nothing anymore! Hmph."

Renk decided to ignore the Major's prejudices and continue with business. "Very well, Major. I suppose I have no choice in the matter."

"You most certainly don't. And do it now before I feel a need to report it to my superior."

As strong as Renk's distaste for Major Vanderkaum was, he was right. There was no point in delaying it. He supposed it would be easier to do it now, while the relationship was new and fresh, rather than waiting until it was well-established and hearts would be irreparably damaged.

"By your leave, Major." Renk clicked his heels and went back to his men, who had gathered for light conversation before dismissing themselves from training for the day.

"Finn... Can I talk to you for a minute?"

Finn pouted. "I'm sorry, Renk. I know I did real bad. I'll try harder next time. Honest I will. I'm havin' a really off day."

"Don't worry about that right now. There's something else we have to talk about. Just come with me for a minute."

Finn shrugged, and followed Renk to the lounge just outside the gear bay. It was empty, fortunately.

"What is it, Renk? Something wrong?"

Renk sighed, sitting down, and motioning Finn to do the same.

"I have something to tell you. And...well...you're not going to like it. But before I say it, I just want you to know that I don't like it, either."

"Well...out with it, Renk. Ya can always tell me when I'm screwing up, ya know?"

Renk sighed. "I said not to worry about it right now. I'll give you a break if you do better next time."

"Then what is it?"

"It's..." Renk stared into Finn's bright blue eyes, which stared at him with an undertone of obvious worry. There was no point in putting it off. This would be best. "It's... your relationship with the Lieutenant."

"The Lieutenant? You mean Sera?"

Renk nodded. "Yeah. Well...Finn, are you familiar with the Cross-Class Marriage Act?"

"The...'Cross Crass Marriage Fact'? Nah, never heard of it."

"Well...basically...it says that citizens of Solaris have to marry within their class. A second class like you... is forbidden from having a relationship with someone who is first class."

"But...Sera's first class."

"My point exactly, Finn."

For a moment Finn was silent, letting it sink in.

"So...what are you tellin' me, Renk? That I can't go out with Sera anymore?"

"Yes...That's what I'm saying. I'm sorry, Finn. But I figured it was best to tell you now, before it gets too serious."

Finn looked on the verge of tears. "God, Renk...it's already serious! You can't tell me this now! Not after last night, ya just can't tell me this! What am I gonna do? I love her!"

"You've only known her three days, Finn."

"Yeah, but it doesn't mean I don't love her, Renk! Last night..." Finn sniffled, and wiped his eyes. "Last night...I went to her apartment...and she's such a slob, Renk. But... I didn't care. I didn't care at all... and 'cause of that, I know I love her. You know what it's like when you just sorta look at someone and KNOW, Renk? I looked at her an' I KNEW. Ya can't tell me I've gotta just forget it. There's gotta be a way..."

Renk sighed again. Finn was taking this even worse than he'd expected. He'd never have guessed that Finn would have fallen for Seraphita so quickly. But Renk knew that it was possible, especially for someone as big-hearted and innocent as Finn. But...it was also possible that Finn was just too caught up in the whole romance thing and blinded by the novelty of it. If he was lucky it was more the latter, and the pain would wear off quickly.

"The Major figured...it would be easier for you to break it off than it would be for her to be forbidden to see you. She out-ranks him, and so it's entirely out-of-bounds for him to discuss it with her. I'm not allowed to talk to her at that level either, for the same reason. The only one who can end the whole thing is you, Finn."

"Do I hafta do it now? Can't I just have...a couple more days?"

"I know how you feel. If I had to give up Ayra, I'd take it really hard. But you're stronger than me. You'll be fine, Finn."

Finn sat quietly on the couch as Renk rose. He didn't say anything. He only stared at his feet and wiped his eyes with his sleeve one more time. Renk didn't want to leave him alone, but he knew Finn would be okay. It was best to let him sort it out for himself.

~ End of Part 1 ~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Future chapters coming as I go over them.

**Author's Note:**

> This fic has been on my hard drive for 16 years. It's been on that other fanfic site since November of 2000. The rewrite has been up since February of 2010. Since then, I admit I haven't worked on it much. And I've got two, maybe three more chapters left. And I've decided to post it here, in a slightly new and improved form, on AO3.
> 
> I have seen the light, since I have been reading a ton more long fan fiction lately (darn you, Soymilk...) Just the first five chapters of this fic are a good 188 pages, single spaced at 12 point on Open Office. That's an average of 40 pages a chapter, which I have come to realize is just too much to absorb in one sitting. So I'm breaking the existing chapters into smaller pieces. Hopefully this will make the story a bit more palatable. As for content, well...I can't say I won't be cutting anything, but it won't be anything huge. Probably for redundancy, if I find anything. But this also requires me reading through what I have, and that's not going to be a quick process, as I do have a day(ish) job and life outside of fandom. I hope this will spur me on to finish the rest of the story.
> 
> And I was kidding about Soymilk. They are literally my life now. Those two precious cinnamon rolls...


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